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09:35pm 05/11/2005
mood: bouncy
DUDE! I forgot LiveJournal even exsisted.

... Let's do a brief update.
There was the Twiztid conert <33333 OMG - Most fun of my life! I don't really chill with Marty, Bobby, JayJ, or anyone around there anymore (maybe a few times a month). So then there was drama, drama, and more drama. Now my entire life revolves around Loki and Joey H. and i'm very happy with the way things are going right now!

.... lol.

(1 Hit that | I want some)

12:59am 19/08/2005
mood: happy
Things are surely looking up.

Twiztid Man's Myth concert

Theater of Living Arts
South Street in Philly
Aug. 23rd


(I want some)

Friends.. or lack there of.   
01:55am 23/06/2005
mood: crappy
I don't even want to think about it anymore. I really don't understand what is going on with people anymore. I trust no one and can't open up because of fear of being hurt again.
My bestfriends Sarah and Jess (I love you guys to death) but I still have that fear of being the odd one out (which in a sense I have become). but I understand it.. I've got work and shit...
My boys down on 4th.. they got their own shit going on and shadyness is a big part of that. Not what I'm into, but they're still my peoples. ..Don't trust them too much tho.. and never with my emotions.
Yeah.. so where does that leave me? Ohh yea. JayJ, Bobby, Biggie, Marty, Frankie, and Jack. My fucking homies. The people who would die for me like I would for everyone I mentioned on here. The people who would return the favor without question. I love them, but my mom's starting to ask questions and get too involved in that to where (if she doesn't stop) I'm not going to be allowed to chill with them anymore.

I'm losing all my friends once again. And for the ones that I really care about more than anything (except Sarah and Jess) it's not my fault.
I'm horrified of turning into who I was like 2 years ago. I never did anything, never went anywhere, just sat in my room and listened to music all day. Got really depressed and .. let's just say it sucked really bad. I don't want to turn back into that person. My friends make me who I am and make me happy. I can't lose that, but knowing my mom she'll do everything she can to pull me down from this social high I'm on - everything that defines me, gone because Bitch doesn't like me hanging out with people older than me.

Fuck it.

(I want some)

01:52pm 22/06/2005
mood: I gotta go to work!


Love yallz! <33333333

(I want some)

stole it from Nikki!   
11:07pm 17/04/2005
mood: ~~~ I do bad things!
What Icons are for you? by ladyallie
Favourite Colour
Your Love icon is...
Your Sad Icon is...
Your Happy Icon is...
Your Angry Icon is...
Your Food Icon is...
Your Animal Icon is...
Your Random Icon is...
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Quiz created with MemeGen!

The Love Icon seriously reminds me of this guy that's I'm hooking up with.. He's always putting his hands in my hair<3 and the Sexy Icon.. werd!

(1 Hit that | I want some)

11:33pm 07/04/2005
mood: confused
Tomorrow's going to be interesting... uh oh.

I hope it all turns out alright. If not it's because I live in SIN!

(3 Hit that | I want some)

Saturday Night and the Battle of the ...?   
10:35pm 05/04/2005
mood: dorky
Saturday Night was absolutely insane. It was my "brother" Billy's 19th Birthday so Christina arranged a surprise birthday for him. I spent like $60 on all the shit for it. haha.
Anywho It was fun.. lots of drunk people. So at first it was just me, Jay, Mike, Chris, and Chokko... then other people started to show up after Billy got home and all that (I had already had a little alcohol) but Jay had to make a liquor run.. so he was wayy to fucked up to drive so he asked if anyone would drive him. I was like "I'll do it." He was like "for real?" and I was like "Sure." (not thinking that he would actually let me.) and he was like "you got your license?" I said "uh.. no" He was just like ::pause:: "okay let's go, be back in a little bti guys" So Jay let me drive. hahaha.
Anyway later... me and Jay were really getting along we were talking about music and his old band and restarting it and him teaching me bass and a lot of shit (and ding all at the same time.) So then we played a game of beer pong (I was so off... DAMNIT!!!!) He was happy because he got to get fucked up a lot quicker. So then he sobered up a little bit we drove Dale to Joe's house and went back to Billy's. Drank even more. I was so fucked up. Jay called me over to sit with him and what do I do? I hold his hand and put my hand all over his leg and shit.. I hardly remember doing that. I have no idea why I did it. But anyway Jason, my big brother, came around and apparently Dale and Joe had told him that me and Jay were hooking up or some shit which was completely untrue so some big drama started and Jason and Jay almost got into a fight.. it was ugly. Jason was trying to get me to go home with him and I was just like.. "No you're fucking drunk I'm not going anywhere near you." So Jay gave me a ride home. I felt like shit tho (he said it wasn't my fault) but I kept apologizing for causing drama in between him and Jase.
So then Sunday I got his number and we've been talking ever since. I went over there for a little while on Sunday night and Monday night. It was cool. He came up to my work today. He's so fun. How many guys can you have a 2 hour phone conversation with and not get bored? How many guys could you stay up 'till 1 am talking to them? I have never met a more genuine person.. and what makes him so cool is that his personality is the most... real I've ever met. I don't know it's really confusing. I am into him like that, but I know that it would never happen or workout. But still he's a great friend and if that's all that I can get out of it then wordizzle to me.

Uhh ohh.... i know what you're thinking "what about Robert?" Me and Rob have been having a lot of problems lately and this weekend I was ready to break it off with him.. I didn't get a chance to during the weekend because I was pretty busy, so I broke up with him yesterday. I feel bad, but I know that it was the right decision for both of us. I don't regret it.

Update more later. <3

(2 Hit that | I want some)

StraightEdge MuthaFacko!   
03:52pm 31/03/2005
mood: indescribable
drunk guy
How straight edge are you?

brought to you by Quizilla

Strange enough.. I love the Kottonmouth Kings. Lol. <3

(1 Hit that | I want some)

11:56pm 18/03/2005
mood: drunk
I got drunk and had sex tonight. can it get any better than this? !!!!!!!!!! Yay. fun fun fun! BEER PONG!!!!!

(4 Hit that | I want some)

02:06pm 20/02/2005
mood: loved
I love Nikki! <3

Seriously you kick ass. Thanks for being there!

(1 Hit that | I want some)

the Bitch strikes again   
11:52pm 17/02/2005
  I fucking can't stand my mom. She's pissed off at my brother so (as always) auto. I get yelled at. I can't fucking wait to move out with Rob and get the fuck out of this house. UGH!!!!!! (only 1 year and 9 months left!)  

(I want some)

The Rob Family Bullshit   
09:37pm 13/02/2005
mood: enraged
Part 1 01.13-
Okay so I couldn't get a hold of Rob earlier, so I call his dad's cell phone. For some reason my call came up "Withheld" like.. it didn't get the number, and I have no idea why. So his dad asked Rob if I used *67 and I said "no." and his dad just came all freaking out saying that I'm a liar and I can't call his or his wife's phone anymore and that I'm not allowed in his house anymore or some shit because I'm such a "liar"!!! So now his dad hates me for something that have have no control over and have no idea about and he's also trying to put a gap in me and Rob's relationship. I'm so fucking sick of everything and everyone.. if you don't know me, Rob, or us then shut the fuck up. I don't care that it's his dad or whatever I told Rob this too NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO JUDGE ME! Not to mention that Rob's told me that he will pick me over anyone, even his family. We're soul mates and nothing and no one can stand between us!
S-"I know you're going to take your family's side on this and you should. They're your family and I know they mean a lot to you."
R-"Steph, my dad just came back into my life a few years ago. I don't know him."
S-"Yeah, but babe. We've only been together for..."
R-"I know, but I was with you everyday until I moved down here. ... You're the only person I can honestly say 'I love you' to."
S-"...and your dad"
R-"You're the only one who's been there for me. I love you Steph!"
S-"I love you too Robert."


Part 2 02.13
Okay so his dad let that other shit go, but I hadn't. So anyway some more shit went down and NOW! I'm not even allowed back into Rob's dads house because a few days ago I went there to pick up Rob and when I went to the door his dad opened it at looked at me like 'what the fuck are you doing here?' and there were fucking like 5 people drunk and Rob wasn't there so I went in to put some shit on Rob's bed and I didn't say "Hi" to his dad or his step-mom so once again I'm the bitch and I'm ignorant and a bad person. But seriously how the fuck am I supposed to react when fucking 5 drunk people are looking at me like I'm half retarded and I'm expecting to see my boyfriend and he's NOT THERE! WHAT THE FUCK.. but no it's my fault.
It's so fucking beat because I don't fucking ask for any of this. Me and Rob are already having a hard enough time as it is and I would never want to hurt him anymore than he's already been hurt. I'm not trying to see us crash and burn, but anymore it seems like everyone else is.

holy shit. they're a month apart... go figure.

[Side note]
I'm done with everyone.. if you don't know shit about me and Rob's relationship then keep the fuck out of it. Don't go running your mouth, and don't try and act like just because you read this now you know some thing. You don't know shit. No one fucking knows shit about me and Rob besides us.

[If by chance anyone in Rob's family gets to this...]
I'm not sorry for what I've said because it's the truth. No one has ever been there for him through thick and thin and supported him in everything he does weather you agree with it or not, NO ONE! Not even myself, but I've come a lot closer than the rest or you. You can choose to hate the fact that me and Rob are together or you can accept it, but either way.. we're going to be together so if you hate me.. get used to it. You're going to be hating me for the rest of your lives. I'm not trying to blow you all out and to be a bitch, but I'm trying to make you feel like you've made me feel; unwanted, inferior, an outcast, not good enough for your son. Rob is mine and I am his and that's all I have to say.

(1 Hit that | I want some)

02:01am 13/02/2005
mood: lonely
I love Rob so much he's the best guy in the world. Since we won't be able to be together on Valentines Day he gave me some of the things he got for me today. Two bears <3 one red one that looks half retarded I LOVE IT!.. that one came by itself and a white one that is cute as can be and came in a bag with a balloon that says, "I love you." and a box of chocolates. Robbey's so good to me. I got him a silver bracelet, cologne from PacSun, and an ICP cd holder. He loved it. He was pissed at me for spending that much, but none the less he loved it. (and if he can buy me a - I dun even know how much it actually is going to cost, but knowing him a minimum of $600 - ring then he can deal with it.
So anyway I just got off the phone with him and.. -swoon- He's so dreamy! <3

Okay well I'm about to start blaring my music because my parents are out for the night doing God knows what.. and i really don't want to think about it EWWWWWWWWWW! and My brother and his girl are up stairs doing what they do and I'm really lonely because my baby's not here :O(.

(1 Hit that | I want some)

Throat = In Pain   
07:21pm 10/02/2005
mood: crappy
Trust me when I tell you to never get your tonsils out. You will never understand how disgusting it is to try and eat something and when you swallow you can feel scabs up against your toung in the back of your throat.

I just wish this was all healed so I can stop hurting whenever I try to eat something.

on the other hand ... what does everyone think about the pic on my user page? what do you think of the new hair? I <3 it.

(4 Hit that | I want some)

READ! READ! READ! READ!!!! -plz-?   
10:11am 04/02/2005
mood: drained
I stole this from Zach Thomas. It is the funniest thing I've ever read in my life. I know it's long, but you don't have to read it all, but trust me by just reading one, you'll want to read it all. You'll piss yourself!
HereCollapse )

(8 Hit that | I want some)

Stephi's not in School -tear-   
09:52am 04/02/2005
mood: high
Hey. It's been a while since my last update. Anyway I'm sure people have been wondering why the hell I haven't been in school all week and well.. it's not my fault.
See on Monday I got my tonsils out and it hurts like a bitch.
Monday I went in the hospital at 6 in the morning and they hooked me up to a heart monitor and shit.. put a needle in my hand (IV - that stayed there until I got released) and they put me under. All I remember was seeing my mom go back toward the waiting room and I went down a hall next thing I know I'm in recovery. I can faintly remember crying when I first woke up (no idea why) but I was a mess couldn't stay awake for more then 2 minutes. So anyway they took me into a room and I stayed there the night... NOT FUN!!!!! but Robbey was talking to me all night (well until they pumped me with morphine .. I was out like a frickin light.) So Tuesday I got let home at about 8 in the morning. Came home, got my prescriptions (I'm on Perks! - I hate them.) and I've been laying on my couch watching movies and hurting for the past few days. I can't eat anything solid. basically I've been living on water and jello and sorbet. It blows!
Recommendation: NEVER GET YOUR TONSILS OUT! THEY HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohh and as some people might be happy to hear this part.. It's really hard for me to talk so I don't talk that much. But thankfully Rob and Ash (Col.) and Lynn and Bianca have been calling me which helps a lot. But when I do talk to people a lot of the time I have no idea what I'm saying so if I start anything I'm sorry because I really have no knowledge of what the hell I'm saying.
Okay well these Perks are killing me so I'm going to go back to bed.

<333 See you guys sometime next week.

(1 Hit that | I want some)

The weekend from... who cares where it was. It was AWESOME!!!!!!   
08:47pm 19/12/2004
mood: loved
Yeah.. I haven't updated in a while so I figured why not?

So as I'm sure everyone knows by now Rob has moved and I've been a wreck. Yeah it's almost been a month but it's the worst pain I've ever been thru in my life. The upside is that I've seen him almost every weekend since he's been gone thanks to a few good friends. (Chris you rawk!)
So yeah.. this weekend was another that I got to spend with my beautiful one and was probably the best weekend either of us has had in a while. Chris, I <3 your house! Yeah Saturday night a whole bunches of people came around and.. well... we got pretty shitty! I have found a new love and they call it.. beer pong! HAHAHA!

okay well it's snowing and knowing this damned school district we're going to have school tomorrow so I must fly away now. Byebye.

Someone tell me why my mom thought that Kelly Clarkson's new song "Breakaway" was Avril Lavigne. ... some things will go on unanswered.

(1 Hit that | I want some)

Questions... huh?   
12:54pm 26/11/2004
mood: discontent
... Should I say, "life is a wonder" or "life sux"? I think both fit at this point. I guess all I can do is wait for a resolution.

For those of you who know what's going on thank you for being here for me (especially you Lynn) and for those of you who don't I thank you for not pushing me to tell you.

(3 Hit that | I want some)

no title   
12:17pm 05/11/2004
mood: melancholy
The minutes inch by. There is no one else who would be the right one. Why am I torturing myself like this? Why, how can I let this happen to me. I hate him, I love him... which is stronger? "I'll love you forever" is supposed to mean something, but now it's just another lie hidden by more and more lies. WHAT THE FUCK????????????????

I want to die right now.

Ash, Lynn thanks for being there. Ya'll rock, but sorry if I don't take your advise. I know... I'm a dumbass.

(2 Hit that | I want some)

09:58pm 17/09/2004
mood: blank
Damn it's been awhile since I updated this shit. Anyway.. I talked to Aidan tonight...that was cool. Me and Lynn are I guess cool again. I'm really bored and.. I dunno.

I love Rob! (he's cool!)

OHHHHHH and I got my Blue Card today.. I start simulation (for Driver's Ed.) next week. WOOOOOOOOO!

<3 Stephi

(4 Hit that | I want some)